Finding a therapist who is the right fit can be as daunting a challenge as finding the right mate. Amplifying the challenge is that most people wait until crisis strikes before they decide to search for a therapist. Rather than being proactive and preventative, we tend to be reactive to symptoms or relationship stress, then hope our therapist can fix us. Urgency often dictates we settle on a therapist who isn’t the best fit, but by the time we realize this, we choose to not terminate because starting over is exhausting. Because “fit” is essential to successful therapy, I’m highlighting four characteristics less obvious than empathy or universal positive regard. These…
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What Happens When We Try to “Fix” Family or Friends
When anxiety drives us to manage someone else's life at the negligence of our own.
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Confronting My Fear Through A Client’s Grief
Tom slumped in the chair opposite mine. At 62 years old, he was toned, dressed in cycling gear, and appeared at least ten years younger; except for his face. He wore a weathered countenance the most prominent features of which were a frown and red, swollen eyes. Tears are common when I ask clients “what brings us together?”, but it was evident on that day, Tom had cried at home, on his bike, and in my foyer. When he divulged his reason for visiting me, it was even clearer he had been living the same anguished pattern for five months. He had been by crippled by grief since the Winter…
