Days after COVID-19 changed our way of living, I became aware of the extent to which I had made a smooth transition to working from home. Although I missed the intimacy of sharing our sacred space with my clients, and the banter of collegial relationships, I did not miss traffic, arriving home after 9pm, or alternate side of the street parking. Two weeks later, I was reading and writing more, walking 30 minutes a day, and developing a business website. Three weeks in I noticed my income remained steady, clients had welcomed virtual visits, and I lost seven pounds. My stress decreased, and productivity increased in the face of a forced slow down. At some point I felt guilty about thriving through a crisis that caused others hardship, but then I remembered many life circumstances are viewed through a subjective lens, and if healthy, I was responsible for self-actualization during any challenging circumstances.
My experience sparked curiosity about how others were managing social distancing, and I decided to note my “thriving” on Facebook, asking others if they were experiencing it the same way. Some had embraced quarantine as a forced slow down, others experienced a blend of positive and negative feelings, and one person referred to my “thriving” as “tone deaf”. It seemed this person took umbrage with an expression of how I am experiencing and utilizing social distancing, and confused it with a lack of sensitivity for those who were “suffering”. Since that post, I lost a family member to the virus, and although I wanted to embrace his wife and kids, I was relegated to watching them stand graveside through a live video feed of his memorial. Painful as that was, it did not change my perspective on how to best engage life as the virus runs its course.
My perspective has been partly shaped by a viewpoint found in sources ranging from the Boston Globe to CNN.com that COVID-19 has put life, or “normal life” “on hold.” While it is true that many components of life have slowed, or stopped, life, inextricably connected with time, has not been put on hold, nor can it ever be. There is no pause button for life, and no “play” button to hit once this crisis is behind us. In fact, we don’t truly know if it will ever be behind us. Life continues to go on, and we are charged with living it as best we can. Right now, as I am writing this, I am experiencing my own in the moment “normal”, and it is all I have. My current focus is on finding ways to experience my new normal while remaining sensitive to the fact it is not being experienced the same by everyone.
That life never pauses demands we determine how to best live, even in challenging times. We remain charged with continuing our actualization as individuals because the world, current and future, depends upon us. This means we continue working on physical and mental health so as to always be available to others in need. It means creators continue to create, not only for the purpose of personal fulfillment, but of ethical obligation to all. Failure to thrive during this crisis is ignoring personal responsibility to self, if not all, and creates a false reality that we will somehow get this time back. I can’t imagine people deciding not to thrive through this, especially without certainty as to when quarantine will end. The question posed to me on Facebook was, “how can someone thrive while witnessing human suffering?” My answer is, human suffering is perpetual, and human thriving must be a parallel process.
My decision to thrive through this pandemic is rooted in belief that self-actualization is intertwined with the betterment of all, and I won’t allow COVID-19 to drive me off course because life demands we go on. It is unrealistic to wait until civilization returns to “normal” to start living because not only do we not know when that is, we don’t know what that will look like. We are living in what can only be described as the “new normal.” Although it presents limitations, it also creates opportunities, but while the limitations are the same for everyone, opportunity is determined by each person’s individual spirit. My plan is to persist in my consideration of how to best contribute to the world while seeking self-fulfillment. This is what “thriving” means to me, and I hope others decide what it means to them, and live faithful to it.
