As if anxiety in our country isn’t high enough, a virus that spreads like brush fire is threatening our health, social connections, and possibly our livelihoods. Times like these are sure to amp up our tendency toward “what if?” thinking, and as we all know, the anxious mind never allows for a “what if?” with a happy ending. While I would never advocate for apathy in a time of global pandemic, absolute panic is not the way to go either. Panic leads to rash decisions, and for parents, the certainty of making our children feel as if the world is not safe. Here are some thoughts on how to keep calm until the storm passes.
1.) Maintain Safe Connections:
If anything intensifies anxiety, it is the feeling we are facing crisis in isolation. While social distancing has become somewhat of a norm, social isolation has disaster written all over it. It is important to keep connections to family and friends alive through phone and digital platforms. Aside from usual chit chat, it is reasonable to express anxiety to trusted others because anxious thoughts need a place to go. This is also a good time for family game nights, movie nights, or projects long avoided. Even more importantly, check in with grandparents who are more at risk for contraction, and therefore isolation. Our most vulnerable populations need the most attention. Couples also have extra time together to implement those strategies your couples therapist provided.
2.) Stay Informed, but Not Absorbed:
In the era of smart phones and ’round the clock news, we are bludgeoned by information, but when crises arise, this isn’t always a positive. It is important to know the most pertinent information regarding closures, curfews, and ways of avoiding contracting the virus, but it pretty much ends there. Reading about every fatality, staring at stock tickers, and hearing potentially exaggerated opinions about how long this will last will only increase your angst or depression. It’s also important to know the facts about transmission, symptoms, and susceptibility. Instead of being constantly clobbered by news, enjoy a binge watch, or that book you’ve long put off in favor of scrolling.
3.) Know Your Financial Options:
Clients with whom I’ve met are more concerned with financial implication than they are their own health. Thinking back to our knack for negative “what if?” thinking, some people already have themselves homeless, or at least unable to provide for their families. Because preparation is key to reducing anxiety, contact mortgage companies, motor vehicle leasing companies, and any other agency to whom you send a monthly bill, and learn your options. Although it can be tedious to make all those calls, not doing so will give your mind creative license to predict outcomes, and none will be good. Also, ignoring entities who receive your money will not make them go away, but avoidance will increase your anxiety.
4.) Routines, Routines, Routines
While we are all calmed by the routines of our lives, this is especially important for parents of younger children. Routines help kids feel safe, and allow them to know what to expect next. In the absence of routines, kids sense chaos, and anxiety is born. Remember, your kids are home from school during a time when they are normally not, so, they already know something is up. it is not unreasonable for parents to create a daily schedule for their kids, and this can be made even more effective if they allow their children to create the routines along with them. Children fare better when they have some reasonable control over their situation. During times when parents will be spending time in activities with their children, allow them some say in the activity. This also promotes calm through a sense of control.
5.) Exercise Self-Care
In stressful times, self-care is the first thing we cast aside, but doing some now is more reckless than usual. Even in the time of social distancing, we are allowed to take walks, play with kids in the back yard, and nap when needed. Put down phones and tablets an hour before bed to allow our brains to wind down, and keep to a steady sleep routine. Nutrition is extra important, as is being sure to have all necessary medications in the house. Allow time for meditation and in-home exercise as a means of promoting diversion and good health. Also remember that your doctors are available to you, and your therapist most likely offers an option for video sessions should you feel the need for a little extra support.
Remember: Some anxiety serves a biological purpose of keeping us safe from harm, but left unchecked, it can spiral out of control, and hinder our quality of life. Stay ahead of it; focus on the here and now; know the facts.
